Motorcycle Mishaps on the Steepest Hill in the UAE — Nobody Got Away Clean

Today the Burrito Brothers went on a mission impossible: climb Jebel Yibir. Full international cast available — Big Butt (your narrator), Chota Butt, Micro Butt and Dino Butt. The only motorcycle group whose cardio workout is lifting fallen motorcycles. And this was no neighbourhood spin: home, up the mountain, breakfast detour and back came to roughly 270 kilometres of pure burrito drama.

A Staircase for Motorcycles

We met at our usual gas station at 5:30 a.m., because the only thing Burrito Brothers love more than riding is unnecessary suffering. A hundred-plus kilometres of dark highway cruising gave us time to ponder the deep questions — why am I awake, where is breakfast, why is my bike louder than my life choices — and as the sun rose we reached the base of the mountain, where things stopped being cute. Normal mountains have normal roads. Jebel Yibir said: hold my chai. One narrow lane each way, my display showing 30-degree slopes (basically vertical in the burrito dictionary), and the real highlight — 16 legendary twisties climbing 11 to 12 kilometres from near sea level to almost 1,500 metres. That's not a road. That's a staircase for motorcycles.

At the first military checkpoint they stopped us and checked exactly one ID: Chota Butt's. The rest of us, apparently not worth checking. Perfect — that means Chota Butt is now legally responsible for all our actions. At checkpoint two, an unmanned gate, he squeezed through the small side opening like it was a VIP lane and we all followed, because Burrito Brothers policy is clear: if we get caught, blame Chota Butt. At the top, the military said no further. Fine. Good enough. We'd had our excitement quota anyway.

Instagram Heaven, Engineering Nightmare

We rolled down to an epic viewpoint: gravel, hardened sand, cliff on one side, clouds below us, the whole valley in front. And then burrito magic happened. Accident number one: Chota Butt's BMW fell down entirely on its own. Nobody touched it. I think the bike just said, bro, I'm really tired. His helmet then rolled toward the cliff edge like it was trying to escape the group, giving up at the last second. Smart helmet. I ran after it, but it was definitely outpacing me.

Then accident two happened. My turn. A low-speed turn in gravel, the bike said nope, and down she went gracefully — in front AND rear camera HD. Thank you, Chigee cam, for capturing my shame in dual angles.

Picking up a GSA on a downhill gravel slope is a sport gravity always wins, and my clutch confidence went missing in action for a few stalls. But final score: Burrito Brothers 4, gravity 0 — with motorcycles slightly traumatized. The descent was engine-braking only, because rolling down on normal brakes would have had us glowing red like angry toasters at the bottom.

The Real Summit: Rahat Bakery

Per Chota Butt's plan — he is a doctor, which makes the menu choice extra special — we rode to Rahat Bakery for halwa puri, chana and parathas: a complete coordinated attack on our digestive systems that cancelled every fitness benefit of the ride. The ride home after that breakfast was powered entirely by fear of becoming permanent artwork on the road.

This was the follow-up to our Khorfakkan sunrise ride, where we'd promised ourselves this mountain — and months later PRG climbed the same twisties with considerably more dignity. Mission Jebel Yibir: completed. Bellies full, hearts happy, bikes totally confused.

🎥 Like what you see? The full moto-chaos lives on YouTube — subscribe to @MotoMoku and never miss a ride. More ride stories on the Video Log.